1ST CONFESSIONAL

*FYI: SINCE OUR SCHEDULES ARE PACKED SO TIGHT WE HAD TO DECLINE OUR Q&A INTERVIEW INVITE FROM VOGUE... WE ARE GIVING YOU THIS REALNESS INSTEAD SO YOU'RE WELCOME.*

Why the name Walter?
When she saw me online (before she added me to her cart and shipped me on that AmazonPrime) she said I reminded her of a little grumpy old man and she wanted a name that matched my personality. 
Where are you from?
Born in Miami, but TX raised (yes, everything is bigger in Texas, ladies!) and I’m currently living in Austin. Don’t even try and stalk me though... there’s cameras everywhere and a Bish is ready to hunt down a hoe.
How old are you?
4... my bday is Feb 15th, 2014 so send me presents after your effboy gives you designer things on Valentine’s Day. #tradethatpurseinforthatcashmoneygirl
Do you have teef?
Does Kylie Jenner have teef? Duh. It’s not my fault my lips make them hard to see. #drsimonourian
Can you have babies?
No, and I don’t want to talk about what “she” took from me. Trying to say my wrinkle purse still looks cute without them twin marbles and shish... what a Bish. I try not to stay mad at it though because I would make a hard dodge if I needed to pay child support.
When did you first learn to scream?
I was 11 wks... ol’ girl tried to crate me when she went to work and quickly learned I’m not about that life. 
What makes you scream? Are you anxious or in pain?
Life... you know? Like being hungry or bored or annoyed or angry with who you ended up with in life. NO, I’M NOT ANXIOUS OR IN PAIN AND I DO NOT HAVE ANYTHING PHYSICALLY OR MENTALLY WRONG WITH ME.
Can you scream on demand?
No, I only do it when I want/need to sprinkle a little something extra on a situation so stop yelling at me for more “singing” videos. A diva needs his vocal chords to rest every now and then (and Bish is almost a DB- Deaf Bish).
Can you even bark normal?
Yes, so for those of you who ask if I’m broken you need to check yo self and stalk my page a little better. I can do it all, ladies. #sorrygoddidntleavealittleleftforyou
Do your neighbors hate you? 
Believe it or not they actually can’t hear me... we asked. Buttttt if you ever asked my old apartment neighbors that would be a different story. There’s a reason we aren’t allowed in apartment complexes anymore, but that’s none of my business though. #itsdiscrimination
What is the most embarrassing thing that has happened when you have made that noise?
People have called the police saying that a child was being murdered and actually I’m offended by that still to this day. #theydontappreciatethisvoiceofanangel
Does Bish get mad when you scream?
Sometimes... especially when I try and sneak away from this horrible life at 3am. I only make it to the door and then realize I don’t have thumbs so I have to yell for help. To this day if I start screaming and she can’t see me she still thinks I could be hurt so once she realizes it’s just another failed runaway attempt she does get annoyed. She wrote in my yearbook “never change” though so I think she likes me. 
(Hi, my name is Carol and I have a question for “Bish”.) What kind of name is “Bish”?
Hi, Carol… Bish is not my real name. It’s a replacement word for the “b word” that rhymes with stitch. I play off Walt’s moods and the looks of death he serves me so I wanted to try and keep the page as PG-13ish as possible for the kids who follow. Yes, I have whoopsies every now and then, but I need to live a little. Thanks for stopping by.
How old is “Bish”?
Without makeup or rest she looks like a young Carrot Top before the ‘roids who hasn’t hit puberty. With makeup and a good Snapchat filter she’s bearable to look at so I’d say that’s when she looks like a 26 yr old female. However, the real hot mess I wake up to is 31 and looking like a real Lindsay Lohan after the drugs. #meangirls4evatholilo
What’s her deal... BF? Girlfren? Divorced? Kids?  Sugar Daddy?
This Bish stays single AF and tries to play all Ms. Independent when she can’t even grill a chicken breast or change a tire. ***But if you want to apply to be our SD then slide in my DMs or I’m submitting her for The Bachelorette. I need some testosterone around (the real kind, not the kind she has to grow her ‘stache).***
Why doesn’t she post herself more?
Have you ever followed a dog and then their owner gets too thirsty and starts posting themselves all the time? It’s a total turnoff for us, plus we don’t want you to get sick seeing her ugly mug blasted on this page. We want you to keep that lunch in yo tummy box.
Does she ever work? What does a Bish do?
You think I’d let a Bish get away with not working? Ha... WG the OG has got bills to pay so I make sure she stays out on those streets. She’s a Sales Rep for the time being and my wannabe momager. #adoptmekrisjenner
(Umm... hi, I’m Susan. I’m 45 and married with kids and I also have a question for Bish.) Where is all the furniture in the house? It looks empty. 
It’s at the furniture store, Susan... specifically Restoration Hardware. And for all of you so concerned about the house being empty in certain rooms- not that I owe you any explanation- but you try being 31 on a single income and furnishing a 3700 sq ft house. I’m not on a Oprah budget over here. I’m doing ok for myself taking one room at a time with no credit card debt. I also like a clean, semi-minimal look anyway. If it bothers you that much, Venmo me some money (@Amber-Martin-1311) and I’ll make sure to furnish it to help with the “eye sores” and echoing... btw that still won’t help because the ceilings are almost 30 ft. high. You can still Venmo me some money and I’ll try my best though. For everyone else wanting a tour and asking about the furniture I do have… I would love to do that, but I know there are some psychos out there. All the furniture in the 4 rooms that are completed are from Restoration Hardware... every thing from the rugs to the furniture to the bedding to the drapes to the chandeliers and the decor so that’s where you can find each piece. #nowgopackyourkidslunchessusan
I see a lot of post’s with another dog... why does she only favor you? That’s seriously, like... so rude.
Let me set something straight... I’M AN ONLY CHILD so relax on the “you shouldn’t be favoriting” DMs. She is my Ma’s BFF’s baby, Maddy, and we love her too. 
Will you ever have meet and greets? 
Maybe... just maybe. Would def have to hire some major sucurrrrrrrrity tho. #okkuuurrrttt
What are your goals in life? 
I like to keep them simple… I want to meet Ellen and Jimmy Fallon with special guests Jennifer Aniston and Justin Timberlake and performances by Rihanna and Cardi B. I’d also settle for Car Pool Karaoke with James Corden, but Adele and Beyoncé would have to be there. Another simple, teeny, tiny, humble goal is to be a Pixar character.

WELL, THIS WAS FUN. WE'LL HAVE TO DO THIS AGAIN SOMETIME.